MY ROOM SMELLS GREAT
i sneak up behind you, wrapping my arms around you
my face is centimeters from your ear, my panting is like that of a steam engine
you almost wince as my cheek brushes up against yours
in the heat of the moment i LET OUT MY MOST PRIMAL SCREAM AND THROW YOU INTO A FULL-GERMAN SUPLEX
YOU LAND BACKWARDS INTO THE TABLE THAT SPLITS IN TWO
THE CHAMPION BELT IS MINE
I’ve got a jar of Nutella filled with ice cream and the latest Free!
This evening just became fucking incredible
HOUSE HUNTING IS A PAIN
Barely any houses are available soon enough for us to move into and I am really apprehensive about certain areas of this city. There are just some places where I’m not safe walking the streets with another dude.
7-7-14, Los Angeles. New graffiti was found at L.A.’s George Carlin High School today marking a new height in the occult graffiti epidemic that plagues the city. Said L.A. Police Commissioner Crowley, “They say the chalk washes away but that’s not the problem here. The issue is that these sigils are made by amateur occultists who don’t always know what they’re doing. They mean to mark their ethereal turf but several of these alignments are capable of awakening Samael.”
Samael, last seen slaughtering the first born sons of Egypt, could not be reached for comment. We at FIMJU wanted more expert testimony however so we invited the mummified head of Necromancer John Dee from its tomb in England for an interview. Said the archetypical wizard, “Where am I? Why hast thou awakened me? Oh how I long to return to the sweet embrace of death, for my every moment awake is an eternity of pain!”
Troubling words indeed.
Well they were correct I suppose. What fantastic insight
in the name of
Finger me in the name of cardiology.
that works too
Kanaya! You’re back, I missed you! Also that must suck for crocs, how do they get to be rude?
if you do a high five: you are gay